A story and some thoughts

A while back, I went to a house party with a couple of friends. After a few minutes, I found myself in a circle of guys, some of whom I knew and others I hadn’t met before. I’m not the talkative type, so I didn’t say much, but I listened and laughed along. A little bit later, another guy I don’t know walks into the room. He joins our circle and one by one begins to greet everyone. First he says hi to those he knows, then he moves on to those he doesn’t know. All the way around the circle. With one exception: me. The evening continued without any happenings. Eventually I left.

Was I imagining being part of this circle? Or am I truly viewed as an accessory? I was clearly standing there, but maybe I was missing some insider message. Do I seem uninviting? I’ve been told before that I have a cold aura. That I look a little bit arrogant. Resting bitch face? Even so, I don’t think it was my duty to make special note of my presence. And why did none of the other guys say something? Maybe no one noticed. Maybe they would have behaved the same way. Maybe they didn’t want to humiliate a friend. Maybe they didn’t want to humiliate someone they just met for the first time, who happens to share a trait with them – being a guy. For now, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

It’s small everyday moments like this that shape our confidence and teach us to think and behave in certain ways. Personally, I begin to question the people and places around me, I become doubtful, and I try to hide. When people ask me how I, as a woman, have been treated unfairly, I often don’t find an immediate response. Through this blog, I aim to capture those times and my observations because I believe that it is important to remember them. My second goal is to explore my passion for food and to have fun in the kitchen, not as a dutiful woman, but as a curious explorer.